Today i decided that i am very much like a cat.
im very physical and being in contact makes me feel better.
i think i am cool.
when i make mistakes i pretend i did them on purpose.
i am agressive when i want some lovin.
and other times i need some time alone.
i sleep lots.
and i eat a little.
and i drink a lot.
and sometimes i purr. just kidding.
i liked to be petted softly on my head, especially when i have a migraine or im panicking.
and i spend time preening my face (eyes only really.)
and my clothes are soft and so am i.
and im always smiling like i have a secret.
i am very aware of the fact that i was worshipped at one point in time (ancient egypt.)
i am pretty sure that i still am.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
ya ya story
so this one time when me and dernt were still dating, back in 2000 or something, we were hanging out boozing with our friends seth and kelly. seth was known for snowboarding badly, blaring the lesser known Fat Wreck Chords bands from his accord, and throwing up on himself while sleeping. Kelly was dating seth. On this night, kelly was upset with seth at his lack of romantic innuendo. "juli and jon have been dating for like eight years, and look at them, theyre soo romantic; they have cute nicknames for each other" she said. jon and i were wrapped up in each other on the couch. "he's my dernte," was all i could say.
now, little did most people know, the nickname dernte was a simple derivative of j.p's full name, jonathan. i began calling him that, and it evolved to jertha, and then to dernte, and i even sometimes called him "Deh." Dernte called me Fee, which developed from Fiahtah, which had arisen from Fatty, my nickname from punk rock Ryan Aspy as well as my obsession with all things fat, especially cats.
But seth didn't know about Fee. Kelly called us later that week dying laughing. Seth had left her a message: "Hey Dernte...I want to know if you wanna get dinner.."
He got ya ya'd for about 20 minutes straight by the entire snod fam + deh and kelly.
love, peki
now, little did most people know, the nickname dernte was a simple derivative of j.p's full name, jonathan. i began calling him that, and it evolved to jertha, and then to dernte, and i even sometimes called him "Deh." Dernte called me Fee, which developed from Fiahtah, which had arisen from Fatty, my nickname from punk rock Ryan Aspy as well as my obsession with all things fat, especially cats.
But seth didn't know about Fee. Kelly called us later that week dying laughing. Seth had left her a message: "Hey Dernte...I want to know if you wanna get dinner.."
He got ya ya'd for about 20 minutes straight by the entire snod fam + deh and kelly.
love, peki
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Sextoy Critique by Peki
NUBBY G from Babeland the Land of Sextoys
Description
If you ask our customers, they'll tell you the "G" stands for genius! Hooked to hit the G-spot, this vibrator's nubby ring kisses the anus and the clit when you rock it back and forth. This toy helped someone we know ejaculate for the first time! Jelly rubber, variable speed. 4-1/2" along the curve x 1-3/8" diameter. Uses two AA batteries.
Status: In stock
Not all products are available in all retail locations. Call to check availability.
Customer Reviews
After I received this toy in the mail, I couldn't help but ponder and ruminate over and over the, not so much correlation, but rather, the connection, between the word "nubby" and the description for a custom HPV-ordered, created, and long untreated as well as excessive case of genital warts. As in, "John Carla or John Para is going in for laser treatment today, because his genital warts are nubbing." As in "He had warts all over his ass and genitalia. They were all nubbing. He had warts in his ass." I should add that the nubby parts on 'Ol Nubby also tend to conjure up generally inane images of genitalia that appear to no longer be in sound health.
Furthermore, after reading through these archives, it seems that the only consistency the Nubby Ole Buddy Ole Pal can claim is its own indelible odor and a base with a diameter not small enough or not dense enough for most women’s vaginal walls. In layman’s terms, the phallic toy smells terrible and is too fat and squishy to fit in most women’s judes.
However, we must, of course, consider Nubby’s composition and, well, its penchant to for gifting women with yeast infections and UTIs, and/or creating defects within her unborn fetus, should she exercise her right to procreate during time of use of President Nubby. We are referenced to these unfortunate byproducts because our precious Nubby Nixon’s contamination of phalates; this fact is acknowledged by none other than, who should I say, “Babe?” of Babeland, herself.
And so, in conclusion, any lady with enough negative karma lucky enough to receive this sex toy may be force to engage in a the worst smelling, sickest sexual play with the squishy chode-esque Nubby W., any woman who actually entertains the idea of interacting with the Nubster will be able to bake bread on her pussy as well as produce offspring at some later date with club feet, long ears, and clefts on chins.
If you ask me, Nubby ”G” does not stand for genius. Nubby G stands for “gross” and “genital warts.” Nubby G did not give my friend an ejaculation. It gave her baby with ambiguous genitalia.
Therefore, I will be giving the Nubby G…. zero stars.
-Horny House in Peking, China
Description
If you ask our customers, they'll tell you the "G" stands for genius! Hooked to hit the G-spot, this vibrator's nubby ring kisses the anus and the clit when you rock it back and forth. This toy helped someone we know ejaculate for the first time! Jelly rubber, variable speed. 4-1/2" along the curve x 1-3/8" diameter. Uses two AA batteries.
Status: In stock
Not all products are available in all retail locations. Call to check availability.
Customer Reviews
After I received this toy in the mail, I couldn't help but ponder and ruminate over and over the, not so much correlation, but rather, the connection, between the word "nubby" and the description for a custom HPV-ordered, created, and long untreated as well as excessive case of genital warts. As in, "John Carla or John Para is going in for laser treatment today, because his genital warts are nubbing." As in "He had warts all over his ass and genitalia. They were all nubbing. He had warts in his ass." I should add that the nubby parts on 'Ol Nubby also tend to conjure up generally inane images of genitalia that appear to no longer be in sound health.
Furthermore, after reading through these archives, it seems that the only consistency the Nubby Ole Buddy Ole Pal can claim is its own indelible odor and a base with a diameter not small enough or not dense enough for most women’s vaginal walls. In layman’s terms, the phallic toy smells terrible and is too fat and squishy to fit in most women’s judes.
However, we must, of course, consider Nubby’s composition and, well, its penchant to for gifting women with yeast infections and UTIs, and/or creating defects within her unborn fetus, should she exercise her right to procreate during time of use of President Nubby. We are referenced to these unfortunate byproducts because our precious Nubby Nixon’s contamination of phalates; this fact is acknowledged by none other than, who should I say, “Babe?” of Babeland, herself.
And so, in conclusion, any lady with enough negative karma lucky enough to receive this sex toy may be force to engage in a the worst smelling, sickest sexual play with the squishy chode-esque Nubby W., any woman who actually entertains the idea of interacting with the Nubster will be able to bake bread on her pussy as well as produce offspring at some later date with club feet, long ears, and clefts on chins.
If you ask me, Nubby ”G” does not stand for genius. Nubby G stands for “gross” and “genital warts.” Nubby G did not give my friend an ejaculation. It gave her baby with ambiguous genitalia.
Therefore, I will be giving the Nubby G…. zero stars.
-Horny House in Peking, China
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
i havent hooked up with a lot of guys. my boyfriends span the last 10 years. i am pretty much a serial monogamist. i dated jon for five years, james for one and a half, ryan for two, scot for two, jason for one and a half, and then dan for about six months. i dated darnell when i got here (its an african american name but he's white!) for eight months. boys pretty much like to have me around and try to keep me. and im also loved by someone named paul, who lives in ireland right now; hes from the UK. we had one hot month together when he was here and i was in michigan, and we've been keeping in touch ever since. i was the most magical thing ever. but its been two years now, and we havent been able to see each other since :(
the last guy (eight months) was fun but not very serious. we laughed a lot. i wasnt in love with him and i told him that. i am very honest and open. i left my last love (ive had three) in cali. but jason and i arent right for each other either. jason's dad is an attorney and would criticize jason all the time. now jason is sort of like that too. and i hated that. like im a night person and jason is a day person. when he came to visit he wanted me to wake up at 9am and go places with him. i ended up getting pnemonia on the second day of his visit (!!!! terrible!!!!) and he blamed me for it. we still got to go out and do things although hes totally codependent. like i take my meds for my backpain and i take them you know, around every six hours or so, sometimes i take them a little sooner or later depending on dinner. if i eat them with dinner theyre useless. jason set his clock so i'd take them every six hours on the hour. hes just kind of stressful to be around. it was like his way or the highway. and i was like im doing thngs fine my way. the thing is i liked it when he was doing thtat before cause i was super busy with my life out there and when we were dating i liked that he handled part of my life but not anymore. im capable of doing stuff for myself now. also, my mom would be like, you two do the dishes. he was put off that he had to help out. i mean, i live in a tiny one bedroom, and she paid for a bunch of his meals. he just turned out to have values that i didnt care for. so he's out of the picture. i was his first love, and i stole his virginity, he loved me with such a passion, a fierce passion, but he was just too intense. for closure, i wrote and emailed him teh following poem:
i regret i regret i regret
FIJATE! it makes sense
sick with farsight sorry
me and your father la misma
and all the rest
i saw me
in humility
day old, on sale
as-is
and finally
did you know,
my Dear,
im not made of stone,
i know: stone falters with ache
and
stone, rewoven, would break
Between us so thick but only
water
i still love you completely
i hope you find joy.
-JSnod
July 16, 2007
i hope this showed him that although we didnt work out, i hope he finds someone that will make him happy.
so anyway, im definitely not about random or casual relationships, cause it was so far from that. ive experienced real relationships with trust adn honesty and teamwork and lots of playing and running around town and stuff like that. i never had boring relationships, we'd go salsa dancing, or rent canoes and go in the river, or go to the zoo, or the art museums in detroit, the anthropology museums in ann arbor, we'd drive to away football games and stuff like that. we had a blast.
i did date a few other guys and got intimate with them but mostly i was just all about real intimacy and getting wild with my boyfriends. i love having sex and i like having it A LOT and i always thought havign it randomly or with someone you were just dating was not very fun. it has its moments but i like to have very strong feelings for the person im doing. im really comfrotable with my body and all that. i think im sexy hehe. and i think sharing myself is a gift to be given to someone who really deserves it.
i think i've found him! how did i find him?!?! IM NOT SURE!!! Where did i find him?!?! I DONT KNOW!!!! How did we come together?!?! I DONT CARE!!! what matters is i've found him! I found him, and i get ALL the credit. This piece of information is just cause to quantatively add an expotential amount to my magnitude of cool. i am the most cool ever in this world ever everywhere all over under the sun and in the rain with the wind and the stars and sea, and the dark night whispering in the rainbow from the moon in september at the mountain with the children singing and the peach tree of morning and the christmas carols being sung by the singers wrapped in blue and the sea, with the moon shining down on the sun of midnight.
love, peki
the last guy (eight months) was fun but not very serious. we laughed a lot. i wasnt in love with him and i told him that. i am very honest and open. i left my last love (ive had three) in cali. but jason and i arent right for each other either. jason's dad is an attorney and would criticize jason all the time. now jason is sort of like that too. and i hated that. like im a night person and jason is a day person. when he came to visit he wanted me to wake up at 9am and go places with him. i ended up getting pnemonia on the second day of his visit (!!!! terrible!!!!) and he blamed me for it. we still got to go out and do things although hes totally codependent. like i take my meds for my backpain and i take them you know, around every six hours or so, sometimes i take them a little sooner or later depending on dinner. if i eat them with dinner theyre useless. jason set his clock so i'd take them every six hours on the hour. hes just kind of stressful to be around. it was like his way or the highway. and i was like im doing thngs fine my way. the thing is i liked it when he was doing thtat before cause i was super busy with my life out there and when we were dating i liked that he handled part of my life but not anymore. im capable of doing stuff for myself now. also, my mom would be like, you two do the dishes. he was put off that he had to help out. i mean, i live in a tiny one bedroom, and she paid for a bunch of his meals. he just turned out to have values that i didnt care for. so he's out of the picture. i was his first love, and i stole his virginity, he loved me with such a passion, a fierce passion, but he was just too intense. for closure, i wrote and emailed him teh following poem:
i regret i regret i regret
FIJATE! it makes sense
sick with farsight sorry
me and your father la misma
and all the rest
i saw me
in humility
day old, on sale
as-is
and finally
did you know,
my Dear,
im not made of stone,
i know: stone falters with ache
and
stone, rewoven, would break
Between us so thick but only
water
i still love you completely
i hope you find joy.
-JSnod
July 16, 2007
i hope this showed him that although we didnt work out, i hope he finds someone that will make him happy.
so anyway, im definitely not about random or casual relationships, cause it was so far from that. ive experienced real relationships with trust adn honesty and teamwork and lots of playing and running around town and stuff like that. i never had boring relationships, we'd go salsa dancing, or rent canoes and go in the river, or go to the zoo, or the art museums in detroit, the anthropology museums in ann arbor, we'd drive to away football games and stuff like that. we had a blast.
i did date a few other guys and got intimate with them but mostly i was just all about real intimacy and getting wild with my boyfriends. i love having sex and i like having it A LOT and i always thought havign it randomly or with someone you were just dating was not very fun. it has its moments but i like to have very strong feelings for the person im doing. im really comfrotable with my body and all that. i think im sexy hehe. and i think sharing myself is a gift to be given to someone who really deserves it.
i think i've found him! how did i find him?!?! IM NOT SURE!!! Where did i find him?!?! I DONT KNOW!!!! How did we come together?!?! I DONT CARE!!! what matters is i've found him! I found him, and i get ALL the credit. This piece of information is just cause to quantatively add an expotential amount to my magnitude of cool. i am the most cool ever in this world ever everywhere all over under the sun and in the rain with the wind and the stars and sea, and the dark night whispering in the rainbow from the moon in september at the mountain with the children singing and the peach tree of morning and the christmas carols being sung by the singers wrapped in blue and the sea, with the moon shining down on the sun of midnight.
love, peki
Saturday, August 25, 2007
i'm a avid diva, a avid diva am i
remember "A man, a plan, a canal: panama!"?
hehe. look at these that i found:
a man, a plan, a butt tub: anal panama!
knob red, no wonder! bonk.
i have a motel car. im a stiff. its a miracle. toma eva hi!
im a lasanga hog, go hang a salami.
hot tuba, put it up a butt, oh!
god! a red nugget! a fat egg under a dog!
drat saddam a mad dastard!
swap god for a janitor, rot in a jar of dog paws.
tulsa night life: filth, gin, a slut.
was it eliots toilet i saw?
and my absolute favorite:
Yo! Banana Boy!
love, peki
hehe. look at these that i found:
a man, a plan, a butt tub: anal panama!
knob red, no wonder! bonk.
i have a motel car. im a stiff. its a miracle. toma eva hi!
im a lasanga hog, go hang a salami.
hot tuba, put it up a butt, oh!
god! a red nugget! a fat egg under a dog!
drat saddam a mad dastard!
swap god for a janitor, rot in a jar of dog paws.
tulsa night life: filth, gin, a slut.
was it eliots toilet i saw?
and my absolute favorite:
Yo! Banana Boy!
love, peki
live simply in a state of complex disrepair
all the therapists i saw at the rehabs wouldnt call me an alcoholic. my doctor never recommended rehab. i wasnt an alcoholic. i was an abuser, a problem drinker. i was also having interactions whenever i drank with my meds for anxiety. but i thought it would be good to go there and i dont know. take a break. i had no problem quitting drinking. i havent thought about it since over a year ago. i never had cravings or anything. i can take any meds i want its just i dont drink anymore. so thats something about me.
so yeah, im not really an alcoholic. i decided to do rehab because i figured it would be a good way to learn. im a hands-on learner. i have always taken complexities and just, been able to use my perspective to see simplicity. that time in my life was complex. but it allowed me to write a little dissertation in my head and my new thesis is quite simple. now i get to chill until i decide to bring on the fury again. i know from experience that i will never be whole living simply. my friends in college called me the cyclone. i will always have that cyclone facet chillin inside and when i feel like ive mastered learning from the previous "learning experience" i will start tearin'up shee until i find something new to focus on. the goal of all this, of course, is to later on in life use these experiences to relate to others and to help them recover from their problematic situations. Most people don't purposely throw themselves into rehab, but like I said. I had some of the symptoms, and it seemed right at the time. I don't care about the stigma I might and do receive for having been to rehab. That's something i dealt with long ago.
i should also add that i had the desire to go to rehab only so i would be able to say, "when i was in rehab, ..." it was a bad reason, but was my reason. lol.
To say i want drama is incorrect. i simply utilize complex situations to develop a simple way of living. an example of this would be the relationships i have had/want in the future. i want a relationship based on respect and passion and spontenaity and No drAMA. thats why i think that EVERY ONE of my long term boyfriends (5 year, 2 year, 1year, 2year) except two (6mo, 1yr) have been chronic weed smokers. i had drama with the one year kid! the other one was so mute and feelingless that he was socially retarded lol lol. so yeah. i have figured out , retrospectively, that i loathe drama, disagreements, not getting along, not communicating, differing expectations, loss of my time to do my own thing, which is reading, which i will go nuts if i cant recede into myself like that, any source of cognitive dissonacne, etc. that may be kind of a bad thing , sort of cause i am sort of an outlier but i was raised in a family where i can count the number of disagreements me and my brother adn me and my sister have had on one hand. and they were over me and bro having to share a car, my addiction, and i think thats it. and with sis, my addiction. her having to realize that i make mistakes too, and she shouldnt always look to me as her role model. and me and mom are very close, we had better be cause we live in a studio togther.
so thats a bit about me. there are lots more crazy things about me. maybe thats also why i want no drama in my life with a lover. cause i have too much in my life as it is. i think that is it. the rehab time is one of the times i choose the complexity. usually im up to my head in complexities as it is.
i think a lover is an enhancement to life. i already love me so much, i think i am the best, and i make myself laugh all day. to find someone to share me with would be very rearly
but i repeat, i like me the best. i would do me in a second. hmm. sometimes i get on bad behavior. haha.
would i let myself do me? im gonna have to think about that one.
so yeah, im not really an alcoholic. i decided to do rehab because i figured it would be a good way to learn. im a hands-on learner. i have always taken complexities and just, been able to use my perspective to see simplicity. that time in my life was complex. but it allowed me to write a little dissertation in my head and my new thesis is quite simple. now i get to chill until i decide to bring on the fury again. i know from experience that i will never be whole living simply. my friends in college called me the cyclone. i will always have that cyclone facet chillin inside and when i feel like ive mastered learning from the previous "learning experience" i will start tearin'up shee until i find something new to focus on. the goal of all this, of course, is to later on in life use these experiences to relate to others and to help them recover from their problematic situations. Most people don't purposely throw themselves into rehab, but like I said. I had some of the symptoms, and it seemed right at the time. I don't care about the stigma I might and do receive for having been to rehab. That's something i dealt with long ago.
i should also add that i had the desire to go to rehab only so i would be able to say, "when i was in rehab, ..." it was a bad reason, but was my reason. lol.
To say i want drama is incorrect. i simply utilize complex situations to develop a simple way of living. an example of this would be the relationships i have had/want in the future. i want a relationship based on respect and passion and spontenaity and No drAMA. thats why i think that EVERY ONE of my long term boyfriends (5 year, 2 year, 1year, 2year) except two (6mo, 1yr) have been chronic weed smokers. i had drama with the one year kid! the other one was so mute and feelingless that he was socially retarded lol lol. so yeah. i have figured out , retrospectively, that i loathe drama, disagreements, not getting along, not communicating, differing expectations, loss of my time to do my own thing, which is reading, which i will go nuts if i cant recede into myself like that, any source of cognitive dissonacne, etc. that may be kind of a bad thing , sort of cause i am sort of an outlier but i was raised in a family where i can count the number of disagreements me and my brother adn me and my sister have had on one hand. and they were over me and bro having to share a car, my addiction, and i think thats it. and with sis, my addiction. her having to realize that i make mistakes too, and she shouldnt always look to me as her role model. and me and mom are very close, we had better be cause we live in a studio togther.
so thats a bit about me. there are lots more crazy things about me. maybe thats also why i want no drama in my life with a lover. cause i have too much in my life as it is. i think that is it. the rehab time is one of the times i choose the complexity. usually im up to my head in complexities as it is.
i think a lover is an enhancement to life. i already love me so much, i think i am the best, and i make myself laugh all day. to find someone to share me with would be very rearly
but i repeat, i like me the best. i would do me in a second. hmm. sometimes i get on bad behavior. haha.
would i let myself do me? im gonna have to think about that one.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
facebook and rehab, gooey interfaces and people faces
ok well, this is very difficult for me to say but, i am beginning to anthropomorphize software. not even software. when the boys of myspace (and i am pretty sure one of them is a wolverine, i.e. attended college at the University of Michigan, my alma mater, oh wait. that was google, nevermind.) created their little sandcastle, later to be mountain of success, another website popped up: www.facebook.com. This website had a smaller target audience. It classified individuals according to what colleges and high schools they were attending. In retrospect they realized their dire mistake and opened up the forum for everyone. I rely on myspace heavily to keep in touch with friends, meet new friends now and then, and once in awhile as a way to find someone to do one night and never talk to again. im on bad behavior sometimes. we wont talk about that right now. anyway, i made an account at facebook, specifically because they have a portion for quotes and i added about 30 quotes from my own language, rather pragmatically referrred to by my friends as "Julisms." i mean come on, this program actually "gossips" about the people on it! it doesnt need people, its got fembots to spill the story.
it actually tells you: "janet added Billy as a friend," and "Steven wrote on terri's wall," or "matt added bad religion to his list of favorite bands." just lousy i tell you. completely lousy. and what is this , giving a gift? you purchase a fake gift with real money and fakely give said fake gift to nothing but a bunch of pixels on a gooey interface, rather that, to a real person's face? oh lord. oh lord and the baby lord.
you stick with missionary and i will stay with doggystyle. everyone has their own preferences. wait i take that back. i will take both missionary AND doggystyle. you can do whatever you want.
tomorrow my mom is taking me to martinez to fill out forms to get general assistance. $100 for spending money, $155 in food stamps, $200 for rent (ours is $2500/mo, she makes $30,000 per year, go figure. mortgages.) i remember this well as we all had them at the rehab i went to , the third rehab. it was on a farm. i tried to save up all my trazodone non narcotic sleeping agents from night and then was going to get a crackhead or heroin addict or pretty much anyone around who would have had the knowledge to help me cook it up and put it in a syringe and then i was inject the llama with the sedatives so i could ride it all around the rehab. instead she just kept trying to spit on me. i did however, bond with this chicken, you could hold her just like a cat and she would kind of purr at you, except her mate- this jerk of a rooster- was always trying to come after me. we also had big fat rabbits we saved from the local shelters and would adopt out. theyd have babies but the babies looked gross. and we had pigs but none of the long term rehabilitation addicts would be nice to them cause in the winter we'd chop them up and eat them.
i went to three rehabs but not really. i went to detox for four days, was clean for ten, drank once for who knows why, it was a habit, went to rehab for nine days, it was so much fun, and then was sober a month when this farm place said i could go there for free. its got the best rates of sobriety in the region , one of the best in the country so i went. it was march, springtime in michigan, so my allergies went nuts at the farm so i was able to transfer after approximately four days to the company's other rehab house in downtown ann arbor. I was a lot more comfortable here, since this is where i went to school. i felt more at home there. we had a gay methamphetamine/sex addict in that house and he and i became fast friends. we were best friends within a few hours. he took my eyebrow pluckers and did everyones eyebrows one day, including the boys. we were like a little family that would get into little fights cause we lived so close together. there were around 40 at the farm but only 14 or so in the house.
female group therapy was very interesting and sexually charged. the girls would talk about doing people for money and drugs. often i felt like barfing because of what i heard from these girls' mouths. i could never even dream of doing what they had done. this one girl was a complete bitch and hated me cause i got the boys attention. i had a huge problem in AA cause you had to talk to girls only, no guys. same with rehab. i got in trouble a lot. this girl hated me, primafacie probably because i got attention from the boys. but i knew she really hated herself. she had this dealer who she was fucking, and he kept her incessantly high on IV heroin. he had a motorcycle and they were on it without safety items and they crashed. Now she is forever paralyzed from the waist down. talk about bad consequences from using. and shes extremely wealthy- filthy rich-like the girls i grew up with in Oakland County, MI (in the 80s it was the 3rd wealthiest county in the country. now i think it is teh 25th) whos parents have a ton of money and shes also very pretty too. she didnt appear to be pretty to me though because she had such a bad attitude. long term rehab is usually for 4-6 months. she had been there like NINE MONTHS and was making no progress. oh lord.
anyway i got tired of the rules, you had to be with THREE PEOPLE WHEREVER YOU WENT i swear they even had it in the rules you had to bring three people in the bathroom while you were in the stall. you couldnt wear makeup. i was always going to smoke with only myself and would get caught and after like five days there i quit. i think i was there total (including my days at the farm AND the city houses) like 8 days. instead of 4-6 months. lol. so thats the story of rehab.
i loved the second one cause the people were great, i was the youngest, there was no drama. but if i wanted to make a shitload of drama i would do a reality show about people in rehab. the farm was NUTS! people were doing drugs everywhere, people would go to an AA meeting but come back drunk, one girl gave like five blowjobs in one week, and one of the receivers felt guilty and told on himself. he was at the long term rehab as an alternative to 2 years in prison. because he got the blow job and told on himself, he was kicked out of rehab and had to go to prison for two years instead. "hope that was a damn good blow job!" we all said. the counselor told me a story about a group back in the 90s where three ROOMS of addicts had a big orgy. 18 boys and girls. the next day, one told. they were all kicked out.
reality rehab would be a cash cow, man. like the real world but the rehab world. its very intesnse you tell all these randoms your worst fears and the worst things youve ever done and you get so close and then you never see them again. it is unlike any other thing. i would compare it to the people that lived through the terror of the nakatome plaza incident in 89 whereby john mcClaine had to save the fuckin world while terrorist were trying to get a wanted general set free. in real life they wanted money. anyway, one of them was pregnant even, and they got her a couch. the people were peeing in their pants until hans allowed them to travel in groups to the toilets. some of them used cocaine to extremes to hide their fear, only to screw up the whole thing by attempting to befriend the terrorists by coming clean about the upstairs nusaince john mcClaine. but McClain had some tricks up his sleeves AND down his pants. He broke Gleurbleur's neck. Now he had a machine gun. "ho. ho. ho."
love, peki
it actually tells you: "janet added Billy as a friend," and "Steven wrote on terri's wall," or "matt added bad religion to his list of favorite bands." just lousy i tell you. completely lousy. and what is this , giving a gift? you purchase a fake gift with real money and fakely give said fake gift to nothing but a bunch of pixels on a gooey interface, rather that, to a real person's face? oh lord. oh lord and the baby lord.
you stick with missionary and i will stay with doggystyle. everyone has their own preferences. wait i take that back. i will take both missionary AND doggystyle. you can do whatever you want.
tomorrow my mom is taking me to martinez to fill out forms to get general assistance. $100 for spending money, $155 in food stamps, $200 for rent (ours is $2500/mo, she makes $30,000 per year, go figure. mortgages.) i remember this well as we all had them at the rehab i went to , the third rehab. it was on a farm. i tried to save up all my trazodone non narcotic sleeping agents from night and then was going to get a crackhead or heroin addict or pretty much anyone around who would have had the knowledge to help me cook it up and put it in a syringe and then i was inject the llama with the sedatives so i could ride it all around the rehab. instead she just kept trying to spit on me. i did however, bond with this chicken, you could hold her just like a cat and she would kind of purr at you, except her mate- this jerk of a rooster- was always trying to come after me. we also had big fat rabbits we saved from the local shelters and would adopt out. theyd have babies but the babies looked gross. and we had pigs but none of the long term rehabilitation addicts would be nice to them cause in the winter we'd chop them up and eat them.
i went to three rehabs but not really. i went to detox for four days, was clean for ten, drank once for who knows why, it was a habit, went to rehab for nine days, it was so much fun, and then was sober a month when this farm place said i could go there for free. its got the best rates of sobriety in the region , one of the best in the country so i went. it was march, springtime in michigan, so my allergies went nuts at the farm so i was able to transfer after approximately four days to the company's other rehab house in downtown ann arbor. I was a lot more comfortable here, since this is where i went to school. i felt more at home there. we had a gay methamphetamine/sex addict in that house and he and i became fast friends. we were best friends within a few hours. he took my eyebrow pluckers and did everyones eyebrows one day, including the boys. we were like a little family that would get into little fights cause we lived so close together. there were around 40 at the farm but only 14 or so in the house.
female group therapy was very interesting and sexually charged. the girls would talk about doing people for money and drugs. often i felt like barfing because of what i heard from these girls' mouths. i could never even dream of doing what they had done. this one girl was a complete bitch and hated me cause i got the boys attention. i had a huge problem in AA cause you had to talk to girls only, no guys. same with rehab. i got in trouble a lot. this girl hated me, primafacie probably because i got attention from the boys. but i knew she really hated herself. she had this dealer who she was fucking, and he kept her incessantly high on IV heroin. he had a motorcycle and they were on it without safety items and they crashed. Now she is forever paralyzed from the waist down. talk about bad consequences from using. and shes extremely wealthy- filthy rich-like the girls i grew up with in Oakland County, MI (in the 80s it was the 3rd wealthiest county in the country. now i think it is teh 25th) whos parents have a ton of money and shes also very pretty too. she didnt appear to be pretty to me though because she had such a bad attitude. long term rehab is usually for 4-6 months. she had been there like NINE MONTHS and was making no progress. oh lord.
anyway i got tired of the rules, you had to be with THREE PEOPLE WHEREVER YOU WENT i swear they even had it in the rules you had to bring three people in the bathroom while you were in the stall. you couldnt wear makeup. i was always going to smoke with only myself and would get caught and after like five days there i quit. i think i was there total (including my days at the farm AND the city houses) like 8 days. instead of 4-6 months. lol. so thats the story of rehab.
i loved the second one cause the people were great, i was the youngest, there was no drama. but if i wanted to make a shitload of drama i would do a reality show about people in rehab. the farm was NUTS! people were doing drugs everywhere, people would go to an AA meeting but come back drunk, one girl gave like five blowjobs in one week, and one of the receivers felt guilty and told on himself. he was at the long term rehab as an alternative to 2 years in prison. because he got the blow job and told on himself, he was kicked out of rehab and had to go to prison for two years instead. "hope that was a damn good blow job!" we all said. the counselor told me a story about a group back in the 90s where three ROOMS of addicts had a big orgy. 18 boys and girls. the next day, one told. they were all kicked out.
reality rehab would be a cash cow, man. like the real world but the rehab world. its very intesnse you tell all these randoms your worst fears and the worst things youve ever done and you get so close and then you never see them again. it is unlike any other thing. i would compare it to the people that lived through the terror of the nakatome plaza incident in 89 whereby john mcClaine had to save the fuckin world while terrorist were trying to get a wanted general set free. in real life they wanted money. anyway, one of them was pregnant even, and they got her a couch. the people were peeing in their pants until hans allowed them to travel in groups to the toilets. some of them used cocaine to extremes to hide their fear, only to screw up the whole thing by attempting to befriend the terrorists by coming clean about the upstairs nusaince john mcClaine. but McClain had some tricks up his sleeves AND down his pants. He broke Gleurbleur's neck. Now he had a machine gun. "ho. ho. ho."
love, peki
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